Which got me to thinking about that old line in Conan the Barbarian:

What Is Best In Life?

If I may offer up the answers of a Twenty Something who is feeling high on life lately:

Passion

Have you ever come across someone who is passionate about what they do? I’m talking really passionate? Like the kind of passion that makes you consider something mundane and make it amazingly exciting, like bread? It is totally infectious. Passion is the force that makes people spend their entire lives chasing a dream and doing anything to achieve it. It is the force that makes you not even blink an eye when you have to get out of bed early and stay up late. It is what is responsible for the highest highs… and the lowest lows.

Passion is, above all else, what makes life worth living. It is that amazing, undefinable, unquantifiable “it factor” that makes the insane seem perfectly normal to those infected by it. To the passionate, there is no other option but to achieve, but to love, but to do.

Truth

I love the truth, I love finding out new information, I love being proven wrong. However, the truth not only means to challenge ones beliefs and to further my personal education, but as it applies to me it means honesty, integrity, and owning up to mistakes. It means doing what I say I will do, honoring my word, and admitting when I am wrong. The truth can be hard, and often is, but the truth is rewarding.

Extraordinary Resolve

We all have role models in our lives, whether it be people who we know personally or people whose accomplishments we admire and want to emulate. My role models all share one thing in common, Extraordinary Resolve.

The world of body building and weight lifting has taught me this more than any other area in my life, if you want to achieve the extraordinary, you must be willing to endure. There is just no way to excell in the sport unless you have extraordinary resolve. You have to put in the hours, the days, the weeks, the years. You have to go to the gym on days when you dont want to, you have to eat food that you dont want, when you dont want to eat it… You have to endure.

Learning the piano, it is no different. There is no substitution you can make for sitting down in front of the black-and-whites and just grinding it out, day after day. I’m not there yet, but I’ll be damned if I wont get there some day.

In the end, I want to look back on my life and know that I was able to push through. I didnt quit. I acheived my goals. I had extraordinary resolve.

Friends and Family

Saving the best for last. Over the last month or so I’ve really come to appreciate the ability my friends and family have to enrich my life. I don’t know if its because I’m getting older and I’m gaining some perspective on the big issues, but man its really gotten to me lately. I have an amazing group of friends and a supportive, loving family. I really dont know where I’d be if I didnt have these people in my life.

Thanks everyone, you guys mean the world to me. That’s all there is to it.

As always, its your turn. What is best in YOUR life?

I have only one bit of advice to offer:

If you want to achieve something, work really hard at it.

Its as simple as that. Now a days I have quite a bit of leisure time on my hands that I get to spend doing any number of things – Writing this blog, practicing piano, reading, the gym, hanging out with friends – but it hasnt always been that way. I absolutely worked my tail off from the minute I graduated high school, jumping straight into both the work place and into college, all the while putting vast amounts of time into a relationship.

I can honestly say that between my job or my school, I had maybe one or two days off a month… Tops. For years. But now I get to reap the benefits of that hard work and what is essentially kicking back (compared to that work load at least, I still work full time).

In 2007 I competed in a Body Transformation Contest and won the male division, and believe me I’m no Calvin Klein model by nature. To win this event was nothing short of a staggering amount of work. Food prep, grocery shopping, gym time, dieting, self control, forgoing food I really wanted, eating the same thing day after day… But it worked. It worked well. And its the only way to do it.

My passing hobbies- the piano, acting, and magic- all require wild amounts of time investment to become skilled in them. The amount of time I put into any one of them is readily apparent in my skill level and any one of them (which varies when I slack off at practicing).

So really, thats my only advice. Need more money? Work more. Need the house to be fixed up? You’re going to have to either work more and pay someone, or learn how to do it and work at it yourself. Want that new car? Want to learn a new skill? Want to have a great relationship? A better physique? All of these things simply require a ton of work, and thats really all there is to it.

And if any of what I’ve just written here doesn’t appeal to you, perhaps I’ll let my man George Carlin do the talking:

List of the people who ought to be killed…Starting with these people who read self help books…why do so many people need help?! Life is not that complicated. You get up, you go to work, eat three meals, you take one good shit and you go back to bed. What’s the fucking mystery?!

And the part I really don’t understand, if you’re looking for self help, why would you read a book, written by somebody else?! That’s not self help, that’s help!

There’s no such a thing as self help…if you did it yourself, you didn’t need help. You did it yourself!

Which is why I must admit something to all of you: I could be wrong. About anything. At any given time.

Which is why I must ask something of all of you: Please prove me wrong. About anything. At any given time.

Part of being a Skeptic is not only needing to constantly be aware of this idiom, but indeed cherishing it. Not only do we know full well that we may be wrong about anything, rather we welcome the disabusing of false beliefs with open arms. That does not mean to approach with trepidation or meekness a debate if you have done your homework and truly believe yourself to be correct. It does mean to always have that kernel of doubt in the back of your mind ready to be activated, a Skeptic is never 100% sure nor should we be. To be proved wrong is, in no hyperbole, one of the best things that can happen to a Skeptic. It is not so much the showing that one is wrong is to be reveled in, but rather the introduction of the truth that is the true beauty.

I’m reminded of  a conference a friend of Richard Dawkins attended which presented evidence that his idea about the inner workings of the cell were wrong, and provided this information he could no longer believe his prior ideas – The biologist rose from his seat, having been proved wrong, and instead of heading for the door in a rage to go pout, he instead charged for the stage, offered his hand and said ‘My dear fellow, I wish to thank you. I have been wrong these fifteen years.’

So my friends, I ask that you please do not take this as a lighthearted post, but rather a plea. If you should see me write a false statement or hear me utter a false claim, do not remain silent. Speak up, and speak quickly, time is of the essence. My little slice of life will soon be over and I dont want to spend a single minute of it holding a fiction in my brain. I cannot change time, but with time I may yet be changed.

If you have any respect for me at all… Please prove me wrong.

There is often a lot of talk, sometimes its in the form of song, about how our teenage years can be the best days of our lives. Well, I gotta say I’m leaving those behind and blasting full speed ahead into my twenties.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a great high school career. I took many of the classes I wanted to take, almost none that I didn’t, I was head of my favorite club with my best friend, and generally just had a great time almost every day.

Then came the hard work. Over the next 5 or so years I basically ran myself into the ground with work, a relationship, and going to school. The good news is now that I laid the groundwork with all of that, I get the reap the benefits of that labor.

Writing

I started a small project with a few of my friends (this blog), which lets me “express myself” and help me flesh out some of the ideas that I have going on in my head. It’s been really fun and rewarding. Not only that, someone in Africa stumbled upon my blog and invited me to cross-post my entries over on his blog (Self Definition). Not too shabby.

On top of that, I just applied to write for my favorite medical blog (Science Based Medicine) which has some of my Science and Skepticism hero’s at the helm. I would consider this almost a dream come true to be accepted onto this team of tireless champions of reason and science. I hope I can do them justice if they bring me on board.

Theater and Film

Back in high school I was a theater nut. Pretty much all of my free time went to either using the computer or in play rehearsal. I took a brief hiatus from that to pursue other ventures, academia and work, but now that I have more free time I’m back walking the boards. A few of my friends and I are planning big things for an upcoming production which is looking like its going to be an abslolute blast. Perhaps a few of you will be able to make it.

In other media, we have already had a comedy short of ours featured on the Funny or Die homepage, and are looking to wrap shooting on our latest project and enter it into the Palm Springs Film Festival. Wish us luck!

Travel

My good friend Scott was nice enough to bring me along on his trips to London and New York, and I did a brief stint in France with a good fried of mine. The travel bug has officially bitten me, and now I wat to jet-set my way across the world (well, everywhere that has air conditioning and ice in the water). I’ve already scheduled another trip this Summer and am looking forward to many more in the coming years.

Any Recommendation?

Friends

File this under Cheesy – But man do I have some great friends. Having friends you have known for almost 15-20 years is something you just cant have in your younger days. I’ve shared some pretty special moments with these people over the last few months, and it really puts things into perspective to have these great people at my side. You guys mean a lot to me, I hope I can be there for you when you need it. I can only imagine, given that our paths lead us the same direction, what it will be like to have you guys as friends when I turn 40, 50, 60 etc… I look forward to it.

Above all, it just seems like life is getting better and better. The last few years have been absolutely amazing, and the next few years are shaping up to be even better. I cant wait.

How about you guys? How is your life going at this point? Any amazing stories? Maybe your life isnt going so well right now. How do you plan to change that?

Now thats not to say that young people cant offer advise or have nothing of importance to add to a decision, or that older people are always right, but it is to say that generally older people have “been there, done that” quite a bit more, and thus can typically offer a much more thoughtful reply than a younger person. Many times those older than us are trying to help us avoid the pitfalls they have made in the past.

As I’m sure many people can relate, two of those people are  my parents. My mother has been invaluable in my life and I’m not discounting her influence with the name of this blog, but this particular entry focuses on my dad. I’ve probably been taught more than I realize from the old man, but one of the key lessons he taught me as a kid that has stuck with me into my young adulthood was, like most good ideas, very simple:

You will never feel bad if you’ve done the right thing.

I’ve tried to incorporate this “philosophy” into my life every day. The idea is very simple, but that doesnt mean that it is very easy. Doing the right thing is often hard, and sometimes leaves you with a pit in your stomach because the right thing can even be emotionally painful … But at the end of the day, if you’ve truly done whats best, you cant help but feel good about the situation. The feeling you get making a bad decision is not so easily relieved I’ve found out.

Now this lesson didn’t fully sink in until I was probably 20 or so, after I had made a few of my own bad decisions. These weren’t life altering decisions, and honestly they probably didn’t even affect anyone else all that greatly, but I’ve made sure that they have affected me greatly. If only I had listened to my dad back then… So now I use these bad decisions as a watch dog for myself, to remind myself how I felt and continue to feel about making those types of decisions. I hope by using my past indiscretions as examples I can make the right decisions in the future.

It doesnt happen very often, but on the road of life when I come to a fork and one side leads to the path of least resistance, and the other is long and winding, but in the end will be the right road to choose, I think back to those words my dad told me as a kid and I think back to those times in my past where I chose the easy road and how that made me feel… And then taking the long road doesnt feel quite as bad knowing that my dad is walking with me.

So here’s to all the mentors that have helped me in the past. Here’s to all the people who took the time our of their day to impart a little hard earned, age-acquired wisdom on me. Here’s to you dad. I’m sure you all have taught me a great many things I haven’t even realized yet.

As always, now its you’re turn. What lessons have been passed down to you that you try and incorporate into your lives? Share in the comments section below.

A Shot In The Dark

The restaurant I was working at back in college was holding a contest to see who could raise the most money for the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society by selling $1 Donation Balloons, the winner of the contest would get an iPod. This jazzed me up quite a bit as I had been somewhat behind the times in acquiring an MP3 player, so this would really be something worth winning for me. Flash forward to the end of the contest and I’m walking out of the store with a shiny new iPod in my hands, excited to get home and load it up with all of my music.

While uploading I noticed that iTunes had a category called “Podcasts” in the store, intrigued I checked it out. Unknown to me at the time, Podcasts are talk radio style shows that come in any number of subjects. It sounded interesting so I headed to the categories that usually interest me the most, Science and Technology. Browsing around the selection one particular podcast caught my eye, The Skeptics Guide to the Universe. I had always been “skeptical” but I had no idea what this show could be about or that there were people who identified themselves as “Skeptics”. So I downloaded a few and gave them a shot.

You Can’t Unsee What Has Been Seen

Wow, these people were speaking my language right off the bat, but the episode that really solidified it for me was Number 7. I had always enjoyed science, but these guys really got into  the idea of what science was (and wasn’t perhaps more importantly). This particular podcast was quite eye opening in that regard. The hosts talked about the idea of science and skepticism, and introduced words to me like “Logical Fallacy,” “Falsifiable,” and “Anomaly hunting” and “Pseudoscience”, and about how to test a hypothesis to see if your claim holds up.

I haven’t looked back since that day. A large portion of my book library and iPod are filled with the skeptical literature and shows. The day I found that podcast fundamentally changed the way I approach life, the way I examine things I read and hear, and the way I form my own ideas. It has changed my plans for the future and opened up new interests that I never had before. I cannot not be a Skeptic when I do something now, its impossible. As they say, you cant unsee what has been seen. It has been a long journey since then, but it was that single hour that I consider to be my first step.

Now its your turn, I want to hear about your life changing moment? Have you even had one yet? What about you changed if you have had one? You don’t need to write a big post, but share it with us! If the ideas outlined in this posts interest you, ask for more resources in the comments and I will provide you with them.

No one catches me now

The first time I picked up the piano as a hobby and gave it a good effort I was making decent strides at it and doing things that seemed nearly impossible to me in just a few weeks time… But I was still playing Old Macdonald at the end of the day, two handed or not. I want to play Mozart and Bach damnit! I want to improvise jazz! I want to be able to sit down, have someone request a song, and be able to play it. And I want it NOW!

The same thing happened when I picked up magic again. Sure there are plenty of tricks you can do that dont take that much time to master, but if you want to do the real cool stuff, the stuff that people just cannot possible fathom… Well, it turns out thats like, really hard. Whoulda’ thunk it? I was investing hours upon hours on single sleights of hand, and still wasn’t great at them. I think almost everyone at my job knows how to do the 2 Card Monte now because they caught me at some stage in the trick. I used to suck at it, but not any more. No one catches me now.

Here’s To The Suck

The hardest part to come to terms with about The Suck is that its going to take a while, and it probably wont even be all that much fun. Hell, it might even be aggravating and downright frustrating at times, but as the old saying goes, anything worth doing isnt going to be easy. People who I admire in various fields all typically have one thing in common, and thats the sheer amount of time they have been doing it, which can typically be measured in YEARS, and not weeks or months. And chances are they sucked at it back when they started too.

Stumbling upon this realization has actually changed the way I look at the concept of The Amature, which is really just a person working their way through The Suck of their chosen skill. I now have much more sympathy for them, whereas before I might have been totally jaded and not have given a second thought to someone who was not so good at something, I now appreciate that they are grinding it out and working their way through this vital, inescapable growth phase. When a budding magician shows me a trick and is all thumbs I dont roll my eyes, rather I admire their tenacity to work through The Suck in the hopes of someday blowing someone out of the water with a mind bending illusion.

Here’s to working hard. Here’s to accomplishment. Heres to that one moment of happiness that makes all the agony worth while. Here’s to The Suck.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some Old Macdonald to go practice.

How about you guys, what do you currently suck at or have in the past that you grinded through and now consider yourself to be good at?